Cannot share it

In the opening line to his book Anna Karenina, Tolstoy writes, "Happy families are all alike. Every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." This novel, my husband got for me from the library -the guy has a tough time finding some stuff for me when he goes alone - and I was reluctant to read it , thinking it would be a heavy one with big words et al , but the first line really got me.
There are so many kinds of unhappiness in the world and if you think of it , it is so difficult to relate to others’ unhappiness, any happy thing you can understand – you be happy with someone’s happiness or you are jealous and you sulk, that depends on you and that person, but its palpable, its out there. Somebody got a promotion, they bought a new house, their son got an award, she delivered a healthy baby – its all great .
But when you meet families and hear of their problem, which is a big deal to them, you somehow try to justify to yourself that its not big a matter, that they are creating a mountain of a molehill, and it can be looked at from a different perspective or it has a easy workaround, which these guys are missing. Unless it’s a really serious problem like health or empty stomach , you cannot truly empathize or understand it.
Happy families are easy to picture – good money, good careers, good education, love and care and what not. But unhappiness has no bounds- there are different kinds – in fact, each unhappy person has his own private hell in which he or she burns – that may or may not be his doing but the outsider will dismiss it as just nothing to worry about. Only my own problem is a problem to me, others’ is just farce and I have a solution for everybody’s problem , except for mine.
Kids don’t listen – Oh all kids are like that, they will understand when the time comes!! Kids don’t eat well – they will be okay, every child is a picky eater!! Husband doesn’t care- so whats the big deal, you also stop caring , tit for tat, he will come back. Trying but cannot have kids- so adopt and do good to the world Tired of working – take a vacation, exhausted from household chores -hire some help. Spending too much, cannot save – that’s the case with everybody.
There’s no conspicuous love – that’s what marriage is about, wake up!! Fighting too much with spouse – everbody knows that it increases affection.
Every thing is easier said than done. But we are really incapable of sharing somebody’s cause of sorrow , its so incomprehensible, so beyond reach.

Comments

  1. First time here. Beautiful post!
    You are so right about everything being easier said than done. We always feel that our problems are the biggest ones and are the " real" problems when compared to those of others'.

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