It is our eighth marriage anniversary- 8 years of being together!!Hard to believe how time flies.My husband, whom I met as a fellow student at college was a different person to me before our marriage.In fact, before I met him, my entire perspective about men was different. So he was a big, tall guy – more than 6 ft in height, broad-built, everything so macho and superhumanly about him -considering I am a small person, barely 5 ft above the ground. He looked so strong to me that I thought that he could never get physically hurt and how could anyone ever hurt him, as in a mugging or looting him. Insane as it may seem, but I could never even imagine him getting overpowered by another human or by any illness. How could a headache or a sore throat bother this big guy, he could easily brush it off.
And the day after I married him, he was a different man, he appeared so vulnerable and real and human, as opposed to the superhero fantasies that I had of him. I remember I had to be out of the country for some days, immediately after our marriage for work obligations and I was trying to call him. He did not pick up that night and I was trying desperately. I couldn’t sleep all night and I wept inconsolably as I was scared that something bad had happened to him, maybe he was in an accident and needed help, maybe somebody had him at gunpoint. Anyway, that lesson I learned much later, after living with him that once he is sound asleep, you beat drums on his head and he wouldn’t wake up.
Before marriage, I was in love with his cool driving, the way he could adroitly zigzag his bike through busy and dangerous Delhi streets in rain or fog or smog. But after marrying him those streets looked like death traps to me and the first thing I started pestering him with was to get rid of the Yamaha bike and buy a four-wheeler and every morning he used to go for work I asked him to drive safe and not talk on the cell phone while driving and there was no rush to reach home. And although before I had this silly idea that he was just above all disease, I was surprised that I forced him to visit the doctor when he had a minor cold or a sore throat as it might be a serious infection or anything, although he kept on saying its just nothing, always. This big guy was almost like a child to me now, needing help, care and nurturing. Yes and about the nurturing part, I have written enough tales about it and it needs no further mention now.
So relation changes things. I realize that once a person is related to you -you own him/her and he/she becomes a part of your life, your possession, you become protective of him/her.